The Creation of God’s Most Seminal Art
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (ESV)
I recently lost one of my favorite patients of all time.
Let me rephrase that:
I recently lost a friend.
He was one of the most impactful people in my life.
In hospice work, there is a common rule for any caregiver:
Establish boundaries with your patents and don’t get too close.
The rule is for patients.
What happens when they become your teacher?
What happens when they become your mentor?
What happens when they become a friend?
Caring for the soul of another human being is beautiful work, but I can tell you from my experiences as a Spiritual Care Clinician for people in their final stages of life, it’s truly soul care. Soul care doesn’t have easy boundaries because its basis is not tangible—it’s the soul.
I have been meeting weekly with this man for over six months. My first visit with him, I was confident that this man would not want to visit with me. For reasons I can’t share, I was confident he would only visit with me once and then the door would be closed. I knew I would not have to set boundaries; they were already set. He had a wealth of spiritual support at his fingertips and I would just be a stranger.
During our first visit, his opening response to me would confirm my assumptions:
“Donnie, if I could have it my way, this would be the last visit with you. I have lived a life committed to my faith and the Church. I have given my life completely to God. I am an old man in his 90’s that is ready for his new body. I don’t think you will need to come back.”
My assumptions and his assumptions were both wrong.
He would live for another number of months.
I would be welcomed by him weekly to visit and pray together.
On our second meeting, I discovered something miraculous. After a brief time of story telling of places we both would often go to pray, I realized that we met in 2006. He was praying in a Church that I was praying in too. I had a picture on my phone of the place in which we had our first encounter. I showed it to him and he said, “I remember you.” That day in 2006, he laid his hand on me and prayed for my soul.
I remembered the connection.
He remembered too.
My boundaries with this man suddenly became lost in the mingling of our souls and in the storyline that only God could have breathed into our lives.
A stranger that would become a friend breathed life into my soul in 2006. I was divinely appointed to do the same for him at the end of his life.
We prayed, we laughed, we cried, we connected. I loved him and will miss him.
PastorChapD
Ps. Part II of this sub stack will be posted shortly . . . stay tuned.